Monday, December 8, 2014

The Real Normal

Over the 4th of July weekend, I visited my "sister" in VA. I had only seen her once in the last five years, the last time being almost three years ago for less than 24 hours. I had never even met her husband. We had a lot to make up for, but not a lot to catch up on. You see, she had been my virtual friend for so long: our conversations made up of never ending g-chats, our vents rapidly fire texted via iMessage, and our countless hangouts through Skype.

Throughout the years we had lived in different continents, different countries, different time zones, and different states from each other. Through time, patience, a long weekend... or after years of hopeful planning, maybe actually something short of a miracle, the cards fell into place, and it worked out - seamlessly, in fact. We would finally spend time together in person.

The thing is... I had gotten used to the distance. It wasn't weird seeing her in person again, but the distance had become normal. "But missing them becomes a way of life. Like brushing your teeth in the morning. Then you get to see them for a short while, and everything normal gets rattled into such a beautiful mess. Then you have to say good bye. And then you have to work towards that being normal again."

There's something to be said about vacations... whether they are to a glamorous destination or a weekend away to see an old friend. They're exciting, but you can't ever completely live purely in the moment and forget that this is not permanent, and this is really something of a fantasy lived out for just a short duration. It's not just the deadline of the departure time lurking in the corner of your mind. It's the simple fact that this is not real life. No matter how much you have looked forward to your vacation, you also know you will be going home. To routine. To your life. To normalcy.

Over the 4th of July I spent the weekend with my best friend, and it was like not a day had passed since the last time we had seen each other in person. We slipped into hanging out with each other with unacknowledged ease, and that became our new normal for the weekend. But once the weekend was over or even before the weekend was over I knew that this new normal would once again be replaced by the real normal.

A six hour drive later, I was back to my real life. I have the pictures, the memories, the knowledge that we are both in much different, more secure places in our lives to now have the ability to plan future trips with more frequency and less obstacles than before... But also what I have is the understanding that we do not have to be restricted by what is the real normal. Routines define our schedules, and make up our lives. But the new normal and the beautiful messes of our lives are what define our passions and make up our spirits. You see, we may never have the real normal and the new normal co-exist perfectly in time, but we may just be able to create something even better out of these imperfections. It's not that the time together is so much sweeter because of the time apart... It's that all the time whether together or apart is so much more appreciated... because even though it may have always been somewhat of a mess, it is always beautiful.

Express Cardigan, Crewcuts Tank Top, Ann Taylor Shorts, Tory Burch TY7045 Sunglasses, David Yurman Bracelet, Kate Spade Ring, Bella U Flower Earrings, Red Nail Polish: Essie 'E-nuf is E-nuf', Blue: OPI 'I Saw...U Saw...We Saw...Warsaw', White: Sally Hansen 'White On' (nope, not a sticker!)

Saini: Express Blazer, Aeropostale Dress, Prada Sunglasses, OPI 'Red'

Photos taken with Canon PowerShot ELPH300HS and iPhone 4S


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. J--

    You miss them. But missing them becomes a way of life.

    Our reunion weekend was everything I had hoped for and more. It felt as though not a day had passed since the last time we saw each other circa 2011. I enjoyed every moment we spent together. I am happy that you were able to finally meet Shyam in person. Unfortunately, the weekend had to come to an end. But we have the memories. And the best thing about memories, is making them.

    A l w a y more than what the distance can turn you into.



Friday Five

A sweet bar gift from Caroline From 50 and pouring last weekend at my brothers graduation (hello Nor'easter in May) to 90 and scor...